Our ability to disagree in a gracious way is vanishing. We live in a ‘rights culture’. On all sides we are assailed by claims that certain rights must be protected, at almost any cost. They are, of course ‘my rights’, not yours. When there is a conflict of claims, victory goes to the strongest or the loudest. Public debate often degenerates into denigrating or maligning the speaker, rather than answering in a reasoned way the opinions he or she has expressed. If the message is unpopular, the messenger is very likely to be shot. Although tolerance is a much-touted virtue, it is rarely afforded to views with which a vocal group, even a small minority, disagrees, especially if those views violate the consensus as to what is ‘politically correct’.
Christians often suffer in such a cultural climate. There have been many examples in recent years of expressions of traditional Christian views have come under attack, even by means of litigation, in order to silence voices that others do not want to hear. In some circles Christian perspectives on issues such as marriage and sexuality cannot even be safely expressed. Restrictions on freedom of speech, the ‘no platforming’ of those who hold unpopular views, the ‘trigger warnings’ for students who might be offended by something they are asked to read – all are straws in the wind as far as the culture we live in is concerned. Even some who have no Christian beliefs are worried.
Christians are to model a better way of relating, especially among themselves. By God’s grace, and that is the only way in which it is possible, they are to live out their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. They are ‘to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called’, as Paul puts it in Ephesians 4:1. We are not left to wonder what that means in practice. The apostle spells it out for us: ‘with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love’ (v2). At each point the Christian way is diametrically opposed to what we encounter in the world around us. Our exemplar is of course the Saviour himself. As the incarnate Son, living among sinners in rebellion against God – against him – Christ showed infinite humility, gentleness and patience. Without ever compromising truth or holiness, he manifested all of these characteristics, and many more, to perfection. In the face of the self-centredness, obduracy and slowness to understand evident in his disciples, he showed what it was to bear with others in love.
Does a watching, and often hostile, world see humility, gentleness and patience among Christians? Sometimes it does, and all the glory belongs to the Lord who gave the necessary grace. If we are honest, however, we have to admit that these virtues are too often in short supply. The ways in which Christians conduct their disagreements with one another frequently dishonours the Lord and looks remarkably like what can be found among unbelievers. Winning the argument, getting one’s own way, forcing others to conform – not much humility, gentleness or patience, and certainly no bearing with one another in love.
The responses of churches to Covid-19, lockdown, reopening and all kinds of associated issues has provided fertile soil for conflict. Even a cursory scan of the internet will show Christians abusing other Christians who take a different view, in language that can only be termed scandalous. Motives are impugned, characters assassinated, self-righteousness manifested, often under the guise of ‘biblical principle’. There is a dearth of ‘bearing with one another in love’, a scarcity of concern for the best interests of brothers and sisters. Often the concern is chiefly with what ‘we’ want, and others will just have to accept it. Remember – we bear with those with whom we differ. We are not called to pretend agreement with everyone, but forbearance is the path to handling disagreements among brothers and sisters.
Foregoing our own preferences for the sake of Christ’s Body is too seldom considered. Yet note what Paul’s concern is: ‘eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace’ (Ephesians 4:3). The unity of the church was a high priority for the apostles. In our fractured denominational situation we have lost sight of its importance. We need to recapture it. We do not compromise on what is truly a biblical principle, but we forbear on issues of practice not mandated by the Word.
Bearing with one another in love provides a powerful witness in a dog-eat-dog culture. More importantly it honours the Lord who saved us and whose ambassadors we are. I’m not necessarily called to agree with you in every point, but we are both called to loving forbearance. The Lord has promised, ‘My grace is sufficient for you’. |
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